Occupied: Day 55 (Why Yarn is Better than Xanax)

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I’ve seen the week between Christmas and New Year’s called the lost week online. Netflix even recommends some binge watching for this “week without purpose.”

Me, I’ve been clocking the Mondays. Dec. 22 was the two lawyers meeting for the judge to set paperwork war parameters and order me an inspection on Dec. 29.

Dec. 29 was that terrifying inspection, with the resultant pursuance of a protective order.

Jan. 5 is the eviction hearing, and the separate protective order hearing.

There are times when self-care becomes survival, but the question is, what does it look like in that moment? When you literally go numb and wonder what else could drop out just as you think you’ve reached bottom. Chocolate and bubble baths aren’t going to cut through the fearsome static that fills the void of silence, wondering: will this ever be over?

It being over is a blog for another day, and an interesting part of tenancy law. This week, off from my day job and trying to be myself, I have taken up arms by taking up yarn.

I made this hat for a friend going through extreme stress.

Self-care is better when it’s calm rather than indulgent. What do you need most? OK, find that. I need calm. So I am crocheting a stained glass bedspread in Rennie Mackintosh blocks. And logging a lot of Netflix and podcasts. Fortunately, it’s a good time of year to be binge watching and listening to stuff.

Yarn is better than Xanax. When I sat in court waiting to speak to the judge about a protective order, I fetched my yarn from my car so I could crochet. The lady behind me also seeking an order grinned. She knew.

Now, as that imagination that makes me a writer also runs crazy with “what next,” I am finding the zen of repetitive movement helpful. Slide the hook through the hole, grab the yarn, everything is interconnected. Enjoy the moment. Let your mind slide with the hook.

Crafters know how to get to The Zone. We enjoy the fact that, at the end of not thinking about what we’re thinking about, we have something to show for it. Sometimes the stitches are tighter in certain places, but they are all holding together. This time, the center can hold. So can our nerves. Yarn is cheaper than Xanax, doesn’t have side effects, and amounts to something when it’s all put together.

Taking up yarn today and I might just finish this bedspread. I’ll post pics when I do. Best wishes, y’all–and thank you so much for your kind comments, private or public. It means a lot to know other people have survived this kind of difficulty with their sense of humor and faith in humanity intact.

Occupied: Day 53

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Happy New Year! It’s weird that a fresh new start on the calendar has no point in life to mark it as this saga drags on, but there we are.

I can’t talk about everything right now, and we go back to court on Monday. This should be for the final eviction hearing, but “final” is a small word in legal matters.

At the hearing Dec. 22 the legal aid lawyer had filed paperwork to spread the time out. It didn’t work as the judge shorted the times, but on Dec. 23 my lawyer was in another court in another county, and the legal aid lawyer at the eviction there had filed the exact same motions. And got six weeks to get the stuff and look it over.

Courts vary widely, which I found out after going to inspect my property Dec. 29. The judge had set the time for noon and allowed me to bring a plumber. We arrived at 11:45 and right from the getgo the guy was so aggressive, my plumber refused to get out of the car. He slumped in his seat, eyes wide as saucers, as the guy railed at him.

So that went badly and got worse, as after I had to enter the house by myself, that also went badly. I’m not often frightened. I’m no shrinking violet. But I wound up going back to my attorney’s office and bursting into tears. And seeking a protective order.

The preliminary order was denied. His threat to me was “conditional” because he had said “if you do that again,” then the threat.

Another woman was seeking a protective order, seated in the pew behind me at court. She whispered to me, during a break when the judge went to look something up, that by those standards her threat was also conditional. Her downstairs neighbor had said if she turned him in for smoking again, he would come at her with a baseball bat.

We squeezed hands, then he denied me, and called her up. I pray she got hers.

So now there is a hearing on a protective order set for the same time as the eviction. Life gets interesting, doesn’t it? I spent a night away from my house while getting some locks in order. The guy has sent two messages about coming to collect stuff from my house. Monday can’t come fast enough.